First Blood Test

So much for bed rest, I really should have stayed in hospital.

I went to the hospital today to have the first blood test since being discharged on Saturday. All went well in that department and I should hear the results later on in the week. The baby’s heartbeat was checked, as well as my blood pressure and temperature, all of which are ok.

I took a trip up to the Antenatal Unit to collect my medication which I was supposed to have collected on Sunday, after being told to do so when being discharged on Saturday.

Having driven up there Sunday, it turned out the midwife had left my prescription in my book and therefore they had to give me enough medication to cover me until today. Today, it turns out the prescription STILL hasn’t been sent down to the pharmacy!

Telling them that I had run out of one of my medications and that I couldn’t leave without it, they called down to the pharmacy who advised that they would have it ready for tomorrow. Im suppose to be on bed rest I advised ... One of the Midwives told me to take my prescription to my doctors to get them to transfer it into a NHS prescription and then I’d have to take it to the chemist.

So, having left the hospital and now on my way home, I called the doctors and explained the situation. They however advised that unless I fax over the request then it would take the standard two days to process. I repeated my history but nothing would make them budge.

So now, I am on my way back out to my local chemist who I have called and who have thankfully agreed over the phone for me to take the hospital prescription to them and they will happily change it for me but will charge me as it’s classed as a private prescription.

Why does even the most stupid simplest things still cause us a challenge?! WTF did I do wrong in a previous life to have such a sh*t current one?!

Playing with Bob

While having nothing else to do but lay on my back these past couple of weeks, Ive discovered a great game to play with Bob.

When I feel Bob kicking/moving, I lay on my back and slowly poke my belly button so it goes in as far as possible.

If I wait, my belly button starts to go in and out on its own. It's the baby pulling on its umbilical cord!

Mum thinks that its nothing to do with the baby but I have my suspicions.

Our 10 Day Stay In Hospital

Well were do I start?!

I can not begin to describe what a rollercoaster of emotions these past 10 days have been. In fact I cant believe it’s only been 10 days!

Wednesday 17th June honestly changed my life. We were told we were going to lose the baby we had yet to meet and you can not prepare yourself for that.

Wednesday I turned up late to my routine scan appointment. I knew something wasn’t right but I didn’t quite think the day would end as it did. I explained to the sonographer about the water loss two days before and she confirmed that yes my waters had broken and due to the lack of water, the scan was not clear so she could not see the sex.

She could however make out the vital bits (heart, organs, brain etc) and confirmed that the baby is growing at a normal rate. After my scan I was transferred onto the Day Assessment Unit where my blood pressure was taken, the baby’s heart beat monitored and my blood taken to be tested for infection.

My OH turned up at this point and I was telling him it all would be ok as Id read on Google earlier in the week that if the waters go, they could give the baby an injection blah blah blah obviously not having all of my facts correct. Its funny how you don’t read the bad bits when you really should isn’t it.

Once my blood results were back, I was told to go into the doctor’s office where there were already a doctor and midwife waiting. The doctor asked me how I was and asked if my partner was with me. She then asked the midwife to bring him in and at that point I knew it was serious. I can’t recall all of what she said but I do remember her stating, rather straight to the point that my waters had broken, I had an infection and because of this and the gestation of the baby we had to prepare ourselves for the baby to die.

Simple as that.

It was at this point that I saw OH look at me out of the corner of my eye but we remained calm and listened and nodded to everything she was saying.

We were then transferred onto the labour ward while they waited for a room to become available. It wasn't the best place to be as there were ladies going into labour there and then around me. Not exactly considerate.

It wasn’t until I started talking to my OH about having to tell my Mum that I finally cried. He did too. I think he was waiting for me to cry first, as some kind of permission that it was ok to let himself go.

Shortly afterwards he left to get a bag for my stay and I was given an internal to check that my cervix was fully closed. Thankfully it was and it still remains that way today. I don’t know how long it was before a private room was ready but I spent the time waiting by sending a multiple of text explaining the situation to friends and family as well as lots and lots of crying.

The first night on the Antenatal Ward was the worse night sleep I’ve ever had. I think I pretty much cried myself to sleep but was woken several times by women in labour, which I admit to feeling quite angry over, wondering why they had managed to get that far without any problem.

Monday I was sent down for a scan and thankfully the fluid around the baby had increased from 1.5 to 3.1. Unfortunately it was breach so it still didn’t show its bits off. It was also discovered via the scan that my placenta was lying over my cervix, which, I was told was the cause of the bleeding Id been experiencing.

During our 10 day stay my blood pressure was taken, baby’s heart beat monitored and my body temperature checked every four hourly. I was woken every other morning at 6am for a blood test and thankfully the infection has gone down from 17 – on admission - to 12 – today - but it should ideally be at 5. I was and still am on 10 tablets a day to fight the infection.

Every day – including today - the doctors have told us that the outlook isn’t good but do you know what, we’ve got this far and that’s what matters. I admit I feel sh*t scared about being back at home and not being at hospital in case something does go wrong but if it does then it does. We can only take each day as it comes.

As things stand at the moment, I still have an infection of which I have medication for and I have to go to the hospital every Tuesday and Friday to have my bloods taken so they can monitor the infection. I have to be on bed rest until due day and I have to drink plenty of fluid to encourage the baby to wee more to increase the fluid around itself. I also have to keep a daily eye on my temperature and the blood loss – hopefully though my placenta will rise which will cause the blood lose to decrease.

The current goal at the moment is to reach 24 weeks, as this is when they will start to inject me with steroids to help the baby’s lungs develop quicker incase it does decide to show its face early.

Let’s just hope that Bob carries on its fight and that we prove these doctors wrong.

FFS

Forget what I posted earlier about being excited and nervous about tomorrows scan. I am now just sh*tting myself!

I’ve just been to the toilet only to have a massive bleed. WTF is going on in there?! I’ve not felt baby moving all day either come to think of it which is now making me panic a little. FFS I’m tired of all this stressing out about not only financial sh*te but also this pregnancy. This isn't how I imagined it to be!

The Scan Department and Day Clinic are now shut and if anything is happening to this baby then I’d much rather it happened here at home then be kept in overnight. I can’t even call my midwife as she is on holiday this week.

Fingers crossed that tomorrow brings only good news but I’m now completely resigned to the fact that it won’t.

Sex Scan Tomorrow!

I'm excited but also so nervous.

I remember having this same feeling the day before the 12 week scan so god only knows what I will be like when I go into labour. Jeeze the 12 week scan seems so long ago now.

My OH might not be able to make this scan as he's got to be somewhere else and he can’t get out of it.

The hospital appointment is at 10:40am and his appointment is at 11am so I'm hoping that the hospital will make me wait for the scan, as he is going to drive straight over once his appointment finishes. I feel a little sad that he's not going to be there when we find out the sex but if he doesn't go to his appointment then he wont get the money of which is owed to him and boy do we need it right now.

Talking of money, we spent most of the weekend arguing over our lack of current incomings.

It got so bad that I ended up asking him if he wanted to split up. He said no but he does sometimes feel that he'd be better off if he was single!

We eventually sat down and agreed to a financial plan of how we are going to get through the next 4 months of pregnancy and the however many months of baby before I look to go back to work permanently. The thing with my OH is that when he is stressed he can’t see past tomorrow and he isn’t that good at looking at things in the long term.

Annoying yes but there is obviously something about him that I love otherwise we would not still be together after all this time.

Back from the Doctors

After advice from my Birth Board I have just got back from the Doctors.

Apparently it is an infection and my waters are still intact! Although come to think of it he didn't actually touch my stomach or touch me at all in fact, he just tested my urine.

I feel like a twat for thinking it was my waters but at least I now know why I'm like a walking tap and the reason for the pain in my side!

I am a little peed however that the MW didn't pick up on the infection when I went on the 4th and nor did the hospital when I went in on Friday.

The main thing is that the baby is fine, the brown discharge/bleeding has gone and I have been given a course of tablets to take for the next seven days. Until it passes I guess I shall be walking around with a nappy on lol

Wetting the Bed

This is by far a TMI post but I'm not sure how else to say it.

This morning between 5 am and 6 am I wet the bed; twice!

WTF is going on with my body this past week?!

I wake up at 5 am each morning to use the toilet but this morning I woke to the feeling of leaking and so I ran to the toilet fearing it was blood. When I say leaking I mean it was running down my legs and it didn't stop for a while after sitting on the toilet.

After cleaning myself and the bathroom up, I went back to bed but was woken again less than an hour later for the same thing to happen again.

I have written this on my Birth Board too so I hope someone will tell me what to do or what the hell they think it is.

Ever since waking up I have been leaking non stop and I am forever back and forth from the toilet. I wouldn't mind if it was like when you had an infection and only a dribble comes out but this is like going to the toilet for real.

Could it be my waters breaking?! But then surely if it was then I would be labour right now wouldn't I and I would know about that wouldn't I.

The baby is kicking and the brown discharge has stopped completely but I really need to go to the shops but I'm too scared to leave the house in case it happens again.

Trying To Be Positive

After Thursday and yesterdays scare I’m feeling a little more confident that all will be well but TBH a part of me is still very wary that something may still go wrong. Having had the scare after 9 weeks of healthy pregnancy has seriously put the sh*tters up me.

I’ve had no actual blood today, something of which I have had the last 2 days but I’ve still got the dark brown discharge and today I’ve been getting cramps again.

Baby has been kicking today but not as hard as usual and not as often.

Maybe he/she is tired from my stressing out plus I’ve been getting up every 3 hours every night for the past few days for one reason or another. Only baby knows what’s going on in there.

This scare has made me seriously consider buying a Doppler. I was adamant that I wouldn’t as I knew that I’d panic if I couldn’t find the heartbeat but now that I know baby kicks every day and I know its pattern of movement, I feel confident enough to only use it in emergencies.

We have our sex scan on Wednesday so I’m currently using that day as a goal.

As much as I was relieved to hear the heartbeat at the hospital yesterday, I know that seeing baby will bring back my faith that everything will be ok.

Hopefully, the scan will also show the cause of the bleed and that it is separate from the baby.

I really hope it is.

A Visit to the Hospital

Thankfully shortly after my last post yesterday, the baby started kicking so I presumed this was a good sign.

However, as I woke up this morning with yet more bleeding and another bought of no movement from the baby all morning, I went to the hospital where I was checked over by the Day Assessment Ward and I am relived to type that the baby is ok!

Tests have shown that I have blood in my urine which isn’t a surprise, that my blood pressure is normal and that my belly is apparently a nice size. After a few moments of trying to find it the baby's heartbeat was heard. It even kicked me for the first time today while the Doppler was listening to its heartbeat. :)

I was also given an internal using one of those smear contraption things and boy did that hurt! The MW said that my cervix is welded together and she took a swab to check for any infection etc, although my urine didn’t show any trace of one.

They couldn’t however give an explanation for the bleeding nor did they give me a scan.

I told her about the pain I have been getting on my right hand side but she seemed ok with it and I have been told to rest, not carry anything heavy and if the bleeding worsens then I have to come back straight away.

On a sad note, the lady in the cubical next to me was crying after she was told that her blood pressure was dangerously high and the babies heartbeat low which meant that she would have to be transferred to the ward for an over night stay.

As much as pregnancy is considered a normal every day occurrence and is something which has been happening since the beginning of time; it still goes to show that each pregnancy is a miracle and that it should not be taken for granted.

Not Sure What to Do

I’m not sure what to do.

I went to bed last night with a lot of wind and a bad tummy ache; the kind of tummy ache you get when you are in the need of the toilet.

I woke up this morning in the same position I went to bed in; on my back, with baby laying on the left hand side.

I got up to go to the toilet as usual and when I wiped, there was brown watery discharge with dark red blood streaks in it. I wiped for the second time and the same thing happened. I then went back to bed in the hope that it would turn out to be nothing. :(

However the next time I woke, I woke to the same tummy ache as last night, which lead to quite bad dia*****.

I have called the Doctors to ask for an appt. with the MW but I have been told to go to the hospital instead. I told the secretary that I just want someone to listen to the heartbeat but they have refused to book me in an appt. and told me that the MW would advise me to go to the hospital too.

I am now sitting here waiting to see if the baby will kick as it kicks me everyday all throughout the day but I am yet to feel anything. The hospital shuts its scanning dept. in less then an hour and I don’t have anyone to take me as I don’t drive and nor do any of my friends who are not currently at work. I could take a bus but it will take me over an hour to get there.

Im not experiencing any cramping but I do still have a dodgy belly; like I need the toilet again and the last time I did go to the toilet, there was slight brown discharge on my panty liner.

I am worried incase something has happened to the baby and I only want someone to listen to the heartbeat to reassure me.

What is going on in there. :(

What Could These Pain’s Be

Firstly Happy Birthday to my little Brother. :) … Typing that I have just realised that I forgot to post him a card :(

A couple of weeks back I thought I was having bad stretching pains. Today however, I am not too sure if they are infact stretching pains.

I’ve noticed over the past couple of days that I only seem to get these pains on my right hand side which travels down my right leg, as far down as my knee but then stops there.

It feels like period pain which comes and goes throughout the day, lasts only a few minutes and mainly seems to happen when Im sitting down.

I don’t seem to have had any bleeding or changes down below since this has started and the baby has been kicking away every day like everything is normal. Mum said that it could be the baby laying on a nerve but Im not sure it’s big enough to do that yet.

I will give it another couple of days and if it continues, I will ring the MW and see what she suggests. I hope it’s nothing to worry about.

Being Ignored

Is it normal to no longer get asked if I am ok?

I have noticed that whenever I chat to someone I know; whether it be online or in person the first thing everyone asks is 'Hows Bob?' My 10 year old cousin just did it via chat!

What happened to being asked if I was ok and then go on to ask how the bump is? At what point did I suddenly become just a bump?

Did my face slip off when my bump moved in? When you become pregnant does no one give a toss how you are considering your the one growing a human?

*and there ends my rant*

Birth Certificate

The OH and I have been having a conversation about what to put on baby's birth certificate.

My OH (who’s a bit strange anyway) is Self Employed and yet he has said quite matter of fact that he wants to put that his employment is as a 'Nuclear Physicists'.

I have obviously said no don’t be silly and laughed it off as I thought he was joking but nope, he is serious and has threatened to register the birth before I do. He thinks it would be really cool and funny to have that on your BC and says he wishes he had that on his.

Men, I'm telling you, they are not completely all there.

A Dinky or a Rosebud

I have been bullied into doing this list by my Bump Buddy on my Birth Board.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No sickness at all and only had the very occasional nausea.

Haven't gone off any type of food. Still eating the same things as before.

I don't have spots but I have adopted some blemishes and freckles.

Moods are pretty much balanced. I cry at stuff but I’ve been stressed so nothing abnormal there.

Don't fancy sex, but haven't been pestered for it either

Was extremely tired early on but now back to being a night bird.

I don't have any cravings

Started showing early and I'm all bump

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm pretty sure I know what it will be ...

A Little Scribble

I was woken in the early hours by the OH shouting out 'it’s not mine!’ I wonder if he was dreaming about our baby lol:)

When he did wake, he wasn’t in the best of moods. When I questioned him about his grumpiness he said that it was due to our financial situation and that he'd never wanted to bring a baby up on benefits. Sometimes I feel he blames me for losing my job.

As much as I have been stressing out about being out of work, I do have the habit of forgetting that he too gets worried but being a typical man, he will not talk about things until he becomes so stressed that he blurts it all out.

After our chat we went to the second midwife appointment, where this time the MW had a trainee with her. Everything seems ok. My blood pressure is lower then at the twelve week appt. but they didn’t have a problem with it. My urine is clear of anything nasty and they found the heartbeat straight away; right under my belly button. They also said that my blood tests which were taken after the twelve week scan are all clear of any STD (which I was expecting!) but I will have to have a rubella injection once the baby is born as the one I had while at school has run out.

I did lay there thinking the heartbeat sounded like a train at first but then straight away thought it sounded like a horse :) What I do know is that this baby doesnt like being prodded because since leaving the clinic, its done nothing but prod me back!

The next midwife's appointment is on 2nd July and the sex scan is on 17th June which is only thirteen days away!!! :)

On another note, I had a call from the job centre yesterday as I requested a one-two-one with an advisor to discuss what I can claim while I’ve the chance to. The one-two-one is on Monday so hopefully they will be able to find something on their system which I can apply for.

I’ve been thinking that maybe it might be a good idea to ask if they themselves need a temp. You never know, it may just work.

Clothes, Clothes, Everywhere!

I have somehow ended up with 60 vests and sleepers and I am trying to sort through them all and only keep what we will actually use or indeed need.

The thing is, how many times a day does the baby clothes need to be changed and does one sleeper last all night?

I am thinking of selling the rest of the vests/sleepers at a car boot in a couple of weeks and I know that if I keep them all then I will end up using them all and I will eventually get bogged down with washing, which isn't a good thing when your washing machine takes 2 hours on a normal cycle!

There are so many questions I have running around my head. I never realised there would be so many things to think about for such a small person. I never imagined having a baby would be so confusing and this is before baby has even arrived yet!

One thing I am pretty sure of though is that 8 pairs of scratch mittens is too much ... :)

Antenatal Classes

There has been quite a lot of talk on my Birth Board recently about AN classes and birth pools etc etc.

I admit that neither have entered my head yet. It feels a little early too be thinking of these things but then is it too early or am I strange not to think about these things yet?

Am I a bad Mum for not even wanting to attend an AN class?

I'm not too keen on these afternoon coffee chats either which women seem to want to join and meet other Mum's and talk about nothing but their baby.

Maybe once baby is here, they will be all I want to talk about and I will want to met new people but at the moment, I cant think of anything worse.