11 weeks {200 days to go}

 

Dear Bobby,

I have just logged on to see how big you now are since my last visit and I can’t believe how 'human' you look.

Here's another 'little' update for you;

• We had the scan on the 31st March. It was a strange morning to say the least. I turned up late at the EPU as I knew that I would have to wait around for four hours otherwise, so I turned up at the last minute which worked out quite well because I was then the last to be seen and I only had to wait about two hours.

The scan was lovely. I was alone for this scan; I wanted to be alone because of the amount of bleeding which has been taking place and if it turned out that you were gone I wanted to have a few moments to myself to get my head around it before going home. You were ok though and you looked strangely alien like lol. Whereas before your heart beat showed up in an instant, this time because you are bigger it didn't which made me panic for a split second but it appeared once the nurse zoomed in on you.

I didn't manage to steal your scan photos as I wanted to because they were not in my hospital notes! :( I need to ask them where they are during my next scan, as I have started a scrapbook of our pregnancy of which I would like to put them in.

The nurse spotted a blood clot which appears to be the reason for the bleed. It is nowhere near you thankfully so I was advised that it would not affect you in any way. Since that day, I have not had a single bleed.

• I told work that I was pregnant the day after the scan, only because I could no longer come up with an excuse to take a day off. Yes I hate work but I have no choice but to stick it out until maternity leave. I'm dreading the thought of coming back here but that's a bridge we will have to cross when the time comes.

• I had my first midwife appointment last Thursday 16th April. I was stupidly excited until I got there because it was actually quite boring. Your Dad came too but there wasn't really any need for him to. They want to do a diabetes test at twenty eight weeks because your Granddad and Great Granddad both have it. The midwife also weighed me and I have already put on a stone!!! You are going to make me so fat by the time you are ready to come out lol. :)

• Talking of your Great Granddad. He fell over, over the Easter Holidays and broke his hip so he is now in the hospital. It was a friend’s birthday last weekend from back home and afterwards I went to visit Granddad at the hospital. Mum and Dad were there also so it was nice to see them too. You’re Uncle and his girlfriend came down to stay at ours for the weekend as they had tickets for a concert that Saturday. It’s always nice to see your Uncle as due to the distance in miles where we both live from each other, we don’t get to see each other that often and I admit to crying a bit when he left. At least I can blame it on the hormones. :)

I am so excited about next Friday as it’s the twelve week scan!!! This scan will tell us for sure how old you really are and when you are due. I'm so looking forward to it and I can’t wait to see you again. It’s been three weeks since the last time we saw you and I'm also looking forward to seeing how much you have grown. However at the same time I admit that I am a little bit scared in case you are not ok. Positive thoughts needed all week!!!

I will come back and let you know how Friday went. Until then, please be well but please stop making me so tired that I can’t get up for work on time, I got another telling off today.

Love Mummy xox

8 weeks {224 days to go}

Dear Bobby,

I’m typing this post at work as even though I should be downstairs working; I really cannot be bothered. It’s Friday and I cannot wait to go home.

Since writing to you last, a lot has happened. 

• I started a new job on the 10th March. It’s ok but it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life. In fact I’m hoping to get my job back at my previous work if they will have me. I’m meeting them next Friday for a ‘drink’ so we shall see what comes of it; if anything.

• Both your Dad and I have moved into the flat of which will be your first home. Again, I don’t like it but I’m sure that once it’s been painted to our own tastes it will feel more like home. 

• Pregnancy wise well, we have made it to week eight!

I’ve only known about you for three weeks but these three weeks have felt like a life time so I can only imagine how long the nine months will feel like! I had a follow-on scan last Monday to make sure you were still ok and this time your Dad came too. We had to wait four hours and he moaned all the way through. You will soon realise that your Dad doesn’t like waiting. :)

Unlike the first scan at five weeks which showed nothing but a black blob, this time we saw you as a small white blob complete with a heartbeat. It was quite surreal and I was a little worried at how big you had grown within only ten days! I hope you don’t turn out to be a huge baby. I know I have ‘child bearing hips’ but please make sure you don’t make the labour any harder than it will be by you being the size of a house! We have another scan booked on Tuesday 31st March.

Unfortunately over the past week I have been bleeding on and off and I have had cramps. However, this week both have been stronger and longer lasting. I can only hope that it’s not you trying to get out.

I have recently joined an Internet group for pregnant Mums and over the past few days some of those who were due around the same time as you have lost their babies. It’s hard to know what to say to them and as horrible as it is to say; I really hope that I don’t become ‘one of them’. We can only wait and see.

As naughty as it is, despite already having had two scans done, the hospital have not offered us any photos of you, so at the next visit I am going to try to steal one from the last two visits lol. I just need something to keep of you; something to make you even more real. :)

Well that’s all I have to say at present. I’m dying to go to the toilet and I must get downstairs to help with the work load.

I guess I will see you next Tuesday. I hope you will be there waiting to say hello.

Love Mummy xox

5 weeks {244 days to go}

Dear Bobby, 

6 days ago we found out we were pregnant with you after two years and four months of trying.

We got our BFP at my parent’s house while there for a weekend break because my brother ~ your uncle ~ brought his new girlfriend home for the first time. It was quite a big deal.

The night before I did the pregnancy test, I had cried my eyes out to your Nan as despite wanting you so much, I was scared and shocked that you may actually be real. Since then you’ve had me crying on and off but I know it’s not on purpose.

For the past five days I have had on and off cramps and ’spotting’ as they call it. I spent four hours at the hospital yesterday waiting to find out if you were still there as the cramps and spotting had become more frequent and heavy.

I had to wait an hour for the blood test to come back to confirm that my hormone levels were correct, before I could have an ultra sound. I spent that hour walking around the hospital, reading a magazine, making phone calls to your Nan, your Dad and my work as it was my last day that day, eating a sausage sandwich and trying not to think about what if the result was bad.

Just before 12 o’clock I was advised that my hormone levels where correct and I was asked to wait for an ultra sound.

Looking at you on the screen I wished that your Dad was there also but he was at home moving us into our new flat. As you were/are only five weeks old you appeared on the screen as a small black blob ~ hence the nickname I have given you ~ Bob the Blob.

I was told everything looked normal but they could see where I had, had a bleed and that you were conceived from the left ovary. What a mad thought. :)

While at the hospital I had no bleeding nor cramps, until I was getting ready for bed last night. The cramps lasted until this morning and while you’re Dad and his friend moved more stuff into the new flat, I spent the time lying on the bed crying and asleep.

I hope that despite the spotting and the cramps, you are still within me and the small black blob on the screen from yesterday is not the last I see of you.

I want so much to see you again in ten days time when I have another ultra sound booked but until then I know I will continue to worry.

Love Mummy xox