First Time Mum Worries

As amazing as Fridays scan was, it has suddenly made it all real.

I’ve been allowing myself over the weekend to start to imagine it being born, it growing into a toddler and that’s as far as I get before I start to panic.

I’m laughing as I type but I’m actually sh*tting myself that:

a) I’ll be a crap Mum

b) I’ll not know what to the hell to do with it when it does arrive

c) I’ll not feed it enough, I'll keep it too warm and vice verse

d) That the stress of sleepless nights will cause us problems

e) That we can not afford it …

Actually scrap that last thought; no one can afford to have a child.

Easter Weekend Blabble

Well the Bank Holidays are now officially over and done with and back to work tomorrow it is :( God I hate work.

I was supposed to be seeing the specialist tomorrow at the EPU but I found out on Thursday that my manager is off which means that I can’t be.

I’ve got my booking in appointment on Thursday with the midwife at my GP surgery, which I’m very much looking forward to. I need her to get the ball rolling regarding the twelve week scan, which I am so excited about as I haven’t seen Bob since week eight and while there, I am going to ask her if she can sort me out another appointment with the specialist.

This weekend has been quiet but nice. I had two friends over on Saturday for a catch up and some pizza. One did the best friend duty of finishing off the half bottle of wine which had been sitting in my fridge for the past month.

My OH was in need of a pint on Saturday afternoon after shopping for his Mum's birthday (which is today) presents so, not to feel left out, I had a non-alcoholic Becks which surprisingly tasted like the real thing. I won’t be making a habit of that though.

My Granddad had an operation yesterday after falling over on Friday and breaking his hip. My parents had to spend the weekend up there with him as it turns out he hasn’t been looking after himself or his house. I wish Granddad would agree to go into a home as he would be so much better off there.

Having this weekend off has really made me think about going back to work after the baby is born. I really don’t want to go back to that place. I have no choice but to go back to work but the thought of having to work all day at a place I hate, come home to my baby already asleep and then going off again in the morning is not a nice thought, plus the company isn’t very flexible in regards to holiday etc.

I’m seriously thinking of taking a job in my local Sainsbury’s instead but as with most other things in my life, it shall be dealt with when it needs to be dealt with.

(picture 10 week belly)

Random Blabble

The hospital is really p*ssing me off at the moment.

They told me last Tuesday that they would contact me regarding my last scan but have I heard anything all week … No. Could I get hold of anyone to talk to all week … No.

I’ve just got off the phone to the woman at the EPU, who asked me to call back after 3pm as she still hasn’t done anything with my file! Jesus :(

*and breath*

I have a doctors appointment tonight to hopefully *fingers crossed* book my first midwife appointment. Due to the hospital dealing with me over the past four weeks, I have had no contact from my doctors and therefore no news of a midwife or any routine scan dates ect.

I had a letter from the doctors last weekend asking to book an appointment 'regarding your test results' so I presume it’s to get the ball rolling. It’s at 6pm tonight so we shall see.

The OH has gone fishing this morning with a friend of his and he is due to come back on Wednesday evening. It’s going to be bliss. I can not wait to come home tonight after the doctors, order a pizza, play a bit of Sims and then go to bed nice and early.

Tomorrow I am meeting a friend after work for some dinner and some pregnancy chat as she is due her first also, in August, so that will be nice.

Not hearing the words 'what’s for dinner' for the next three nights is nothing but heaven to my ears right now :)

OH Rant

Is it normal to have a partner/husband/boyfriend who still expects you to be able to juggle twelve things at once like you did before you were pregnant and one who gets annoyed when you fall asleep on the sofa at 9pm each night?!

Or is it just mine?!