Poems

A simple collection of poems, quotes and sayings I have either been sent from friends or ones I have found and related to in some way. 

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A tiny life is growing

inside a cosy place

His arms and legs are flailing

a smile is on his face.

His mother feels a tiny kick

upon her rounded tummy

and waits impatiently for the day

when she becomes a mummy.

The baby’s smile is fading

but his eyes are open wide

he knows that he’ll be leaving soon

but will never see outside.

There aren’t so many kicks now

in fact there’s none at all

Gran says that baby’s sleeping

and keeps knitting up his shawl.

His life is draining quickly

but no-one knows a thing

a tiny smile fleets his face

when he hears his mother sing.

He knows that he’ll remember her

and the things he heard her say

peacefully and happily

the baby drifts away.

Mummy knows that something’s wrong

and is at the clinic before too long

a scan is done and doctor says

“i’m sorry, baby’s gone”.

The grief is overwhelming

the sadness takes its toll

friends and family gather round

as he’s buried in his shawl.

As time goes by and lapses on

his mother sheds a tear

and hears these words inside her head

“mum i’m always here,

i’ll never ever leave you

although you may not know

i’ll be beside you every day

through laughter, joy and woe.

You’ll never need to miss me

for I am in your heart

and though we’re in two different worlds

we’ll never be apart”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We Were Going To Have A Baby, But We Had An Angel Instead

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My precious sweet and gentle child

My little one so meek and mild

We never had that long together

But being apart is not forever

They say you're in a better place

Safe and sound and full of grace

And though I try to understand

I'd rather have you close at hand

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An Angel in the Book of life

Wrote down my baby's birth

And whispered as she closed the book

"Too Beautiful For Earth"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The world may never notice

If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,

Or even pause to wonder 

If the petals fall too soon.

But every life that ever forms,

Or ever comes to be,

Touches the world in some small way

For all eternity. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The little one we long for

Was swiftly here and gone.

But the love that was then planted

Is a light that still shines on.

And though our arms are empty,

Our hearts know what to do.

Every beating of our hearts

Says that we love you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stood beside your bed last night,

I came to have a peep.

I could see that you were crying,

quietly in your sleep.

I touched you softly

as you brushed away a tear,

"It's me, I haven't left you,

I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast,

I watched you pour coffee,

You were thinking of how much you

love and long to hold me.

I was with you at the store today,

Your arms were getting sore.

I longed to take your parcels,

I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today,

You tend it with such care.

I want to reassure you,

that I'm not really there.

I walked with you to the house,

as you fumbled for your key.

I gently put my hand on you,

I smiled and said "it's me."

You looked so very tired,

and sank into a chair.

I tried so hard to let you know,

that I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be

so near you every day.

To say to you with certainty,

"I never went away."

You sat there very quietly,

then smiled, I think you knew,

In the stillness of that evening,

I was very close to you.

The day is over,

I smile and watch you yawning and say

"goodnight, God bless,

I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you

to cross the brief divide,

I'll rush across to greet you and

we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to

show you, there is so much for you to see.

Be patient, live your journey out

then come home to be with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's my first birthday in heaven,

what a joy to partake.

My presents are flowers and rainbows

and angel food cake.

My crib is decorated with roses

and glitter.

And the stars that shine upon me

make everything shimmer.

The other angels are dancing and

singing me songs.

Soon Jesus will be joining me,

It won't be long.

We'll all gather and pray

for my loved ones on earth,

Who love me so much,

from the day of my birth.

You see, Birthdays in Heaven

are full of happiness and cheer.

We celebrate with our loved ones,

who proceeded us here.

Yes, Birthdays in Heaven

are wonderful and gay.

One day we will celebrate together,

for that moment, Mommy and Daddy, I pray 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you see me today mummy,

I flew right past your ear,

I sat upon butterfly wings,

I got oh so very near.

Did you feel a tiny flutter against your cheek?

That was my angel kiss,

I planted it there as I flew past,

And made an angel wish.

I wished for my mummy to be happy,

To never again feel such despair,

To know how much I love her,

And just how much I care

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I found a penny today

laying on the ground.

But it’s not just a penny

this little coin I found.

Pennies come from heaven

that's what my dad told me.

He said angels toss them down

to show their love for thee.

He said when an Angel misses you,

Sometimes just to cheer you up

too make a smile out of a frown.

So, don't pass by that penny

when you're feeling blue.

It may be a penny from Heaven

that an angel tossed to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These are my footprints,

So perfect and so small.

These tiny footprints,

Never touched the ground at all.

Not one tiny footprint,

For now I have my wings.

These tiny footprints were meant for other things.

You will hear my tiny footprints,

In the patter of the rain.

Gentle drops like angels’ tears,

Of joy and not from pain.

You will see my tiny footprints,

In each butterflies' lazy dance.

I'll let you know I'm with you,

If you give me just a chance.

You will see my tiny footprints,

In the rustle of the leaves.

I will whisper names into the wind,

And call each one that grieves.

Most of all,

These tiny footprints,

Are found in mummy's heart,

Cause even though I'm gone now,

we'll never truly part

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don’t let them say I wasn’t born,

That something stopped my heart,

I felt each tender squeeze you gave,

I loved you from the start.

Although my body you can’t hold,

It doesn’t mean I’m gone,

This world was worthy not of me,

God chose that I move on,

I know the pain that drowns your soul,

What you are forced to face,

You have my word,

I’ll fill your arms,

Someday we will embrace.

You’ll hear that it was “meant to be,

God doesn’t make mistakes”

But that won’t soften your worst blow

Or make your heart not ache.

I’m watching over all you do,

Another child you’ll bear,

Believe me when I say to you,

That I am always there.

There will come a time,

I promise you,

When you will hold my hand,

Stroke my face and kiss my lips

And then you’ll understand.

Although I never breathed your air,

Or gazed into your eyes,

That doesn’t mean I never “was”

…An Angel Never Dies...

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My Mum is a survivor,

Or so I've heard it said.

But I can hear her crying at night

when all others are in bed.

I watch her lay awake at night,

And go to hold her hand.

She doesn't know I'm with her,

To help her understand.

But like the sands on the beach,

That never wash away...

I watch over my surviving mum,

Who thinks of me each day.

She wears a smile for others

A smile of disguise!

But through Heaven's door I see,

Tears flowing from her eyes.

My mum tries to cope with death,

To keep my memory alive.

But anyone who knows her knows,

It is her way to survive.

As I watch over my surviving mum,

Through Heaven's open door...

I try to tell her that angels,

Protect me forevermore.

I know that doesn't help her...

Or ease the burden she bears.

So if you get a chance, go visit her...

And show her that you care.

For no matter what she says...

No matter what she feels,

My surviving mum has a broken heart,

That time will ever heal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To the baby that I carried

But never seen your eyes

Or tell you how much I loved you

Or ever to hear your cries.

You will never be forgotten

The excitement we had for your coming.

When I realized I'd never hold you,

The feeling I had was numbing.

My angel baby is who you are.

My angel baby you'll always be.

Your loving memory will live in my heart

So you will always be right here with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am just a little tear,

I was put into your eye,

I'm a little gift from your angel,

who saw you needed to cry.

Don't be afraid to use me,

I can come in easy flows,

never hold back on releasing me,

this is for me, the life I chose.

Please use me to mourn your angel,

and those day's your feeling sad,

because even though you may not want me,

I'm really not that bad!

On me you can always rely,

for a while I'll be your best friend,

always here just waiting,

for your pain that has no end.

I will remain quite loyal,

I will come easily have no fear

until the time you need me no longer,

I'm your special little tear xxxxx

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A heartbeat falls silent.

Tiny eyes close.

A miniature body

No longer grows.

Mommy is shattered.

Daddy is sad.

Fate has erased

The plans that they had.

Through all of the grief

that leaves their hearts torn,

There's peace in knowing

An angel was born.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Could I have died so soon,

So soon that my cries

Were silenced in your womb?

So soon that I'll never touch

Your breast nor feel

Your hands caress

My brow?

So soon that you never got

To sigh and cry

Sweet tears of joy,

For your first child,

Your first born boy?

Could I have died so soon?

I suspect not,

For I felt the passion

Of your love around me

As my heartbeats slowed,

Then stopped.

As I lay motionless,

I heard the misery

In your cries that

I would not be born alive

And wondered, why?

Yesterday father, you fathered me.

Today dear mother, you birthed me.

I was there, You were there.

We all stood witness.

I heard your whispers,

That you love me.

I heard you tell each other

How beautiful I was viewed

In my eternal quietude.

I even felt your soft caress

As you held me to your breast.

On this morn, mourn not for me.

With ethereal grace I have a name.

I have a home, I have a life

To live through all eternity.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Precious, tiny, sweet little one

You will always be to me

So perfect, pure, and innocent

Just as you were meant to be.

We dreamed of you and your life

And all that it would be

We waited and longed for you to come

And join our family.

We never had the chance to play,

To laugh, to rock, to wiggle.

We long to hold you, touch you now

And listen to you giggle.

I'll always be your mother.

He'll always be your dad.

You will always be our child,

The child that we had.

But now you're gone...but yet you're here.

We'll sense you everywhere.

You are our sorrow and our joy.

There's love in every tear.

Just know our love goes deep and strong.

We'll forget you never-

The child we had, but never had,

And yet will have forever. 

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You ask me how I'm feeling,

but do you really want to know?

The moment I try telling you

You say you have to go.

How can I tell you,

what it's been like for me

I am haunted, I am broken

By things that you don't see.

You ask me how I'm holding up,

but do you really care?

The second I try to speak my heart,

You start squirming in your chair.

Because I am so lonely,

you see, no one comes around,

I'll take the words I want to say

And quietly choke them down.

Everyone avoids me now,

Because they don't know what to say.

They tell me I'll be there for you,

then turn and walk away.

Call me if you need me,

that's what everybody said,

But how can I call you and scream

into the phone,

My God, my child is dead?

No one will let me

say the words that I need to say

Why does a mother's grief

scare everyone away?

I am tired of pretending

as my heart pounds in my chest,

I say things to make you comfortable,

but my soul finds no rest.

How can I tell you things

that are too sad to be told,

of the helplessness of holding a child

who in your arms grows cold?

Maybe you can tell me,

How should one behave,

when I had to watch my child go,

And she I could not save?

You cannot imagine

what it was like for me that day

to place a final kiss on her head,

Then have to turn and walk away.

If you really love me,

and I believe you do,

if you really want to help me,

here is what I need from you.

Sit down beside me,

reach out and take my hand,

Say "My friend, I've come to listen,

I want to understand."

Just hold my hand and listen

that's all you need to do,

And if by chance I shed a tear,

it's alright if you do too.

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I am wearing a pair of shoes.

They are ugly shoes.

Uncomfortable shoes.

I hate my shoes.

Each day I wear them,

and each day I wish I had another pair.

Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.

Yet, I continue to wear them.

I get funny looks wearing these shoes.

They are looks of sympathy.

I can tell in others eyes that they are glad

they are my shoes and not theirs.

They never talk about my shoes.

To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.

To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.

But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.

I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.

There are many pairs in this world.

Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.

Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.

Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.

No woman deserves to wear these shoes.

Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.

These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.

They have made me who I am.

I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child. 

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Please just tell me God

Because I just really don't understand

Why you had to take my baby

And shatter all my plans

On that awful day I gave birth

In that awful quiet room

Why did we still have sunlight

Why did flowers outside still bloom

Why didn't the Heaven's open

Why didn't you plunge the earth into despair

Why didn't you make the world just stop

Why didn't you take me then and there

And on that fateful day we said goodbye

When everything felt so wrong

Why did cars still run on the road

Why did life carry on

When his little coffin was lowered into the ground

Why were more children born

Why didn't the whole world feel my loss

Stopping for the son that I mourn

Why didn't the world grieve with me God

Why didn't you hurt it too

Why do we feel such pain

Tell me, do you feel it too?

It's not that I blame you God

But I feel such anger and despair

How can the world just carry on

When my son is way up there

Each day hurts just like the one before

Even sometimes more intense

And every day my loss is longer

Many more tears being spent

Just tell me God, what I did wrong

I promise to make it good

Then maybe you could give my baby back

I really wish you would 

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We have shared our tears and our sorrow

We have given encouragement to each other

Given joy for a brighter tomorrow

We share the title of grieving mother

Some of us lost older daughters or sons

Who we watched grow over the years

Some have lost their babies before their lives begun

But no matter the age, we cry the same tears

We understand each other’s pain

The bond we share is very strong

With each other there is no need to explain

The path we walk is hard and long

Our children brought us together

They didn’t want us on this journey alone

They knew we needed each other

To survive the pain of them being gone

So take my hand my friend

We may stumble and fall along the way

But we’ll get up and try again

Because together we can make it day by day

We can give each other hope

We’ll create a place where we belong

Together we will find how to cope

Because we are Angel Mummy’s and together we are strong!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today a tear falls.

They start to fall like rain.

My heart feels broken.

Forever there will be pain.

There is a cloud in my life now.

Even on sunny days.

An emptiness, a longing,

A sadness that forever stays.

A sadness that is lonely.

A silent tear sneaks out.

My voice fails to scream,

What my heart wants to shout.

Unborn babies are precious.

Their brief moments with us mattered.

We feel love from the beginning.

Love continues after our hearts were shattered.

Today I should have had my baby.

A Baby Angel to love and touch.

But instead I have barely a reminder

Of one I love so much.

No one in my family

Has cried a single tear.

They move on with their lives

Unaware of my pain and fear.

Sometimes I can peak beyond the clouds

To feel a little joy.

I feel the hope of a future

That includes a baby girl or boy.

But what if it never happens.

That's more than I can bear.

So I pray and try again.

I can't handle more despair.

Today's tears keep falling.

They rain and then they pour.

My babies may never be in my arms,

But they're in my heart forevermore 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited.

I have cried and prayed.

I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.

I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.

I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.

I have succeeded.

I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I will listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It must be very difficult

To be a man in grief,

Since "men don't cry"

and "men are strong" 

No tears can bring relief.

It must be very difficult

To stand up to the test,

And field the calls and visitors

So she can get some rest.

They always ask if she's all right

And what she's going through.

But seldom take his hand and ask,

"My friend, but how are you?"

He hears her crying in the night

And thinks his heart will break.

He dries her tears and comforts her,

But "stays strong" for her sake.

It must be very difficult

To start each day anew.

And try to be so very brave

He lost his baby too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They say there is a reason,

They say that time will heal,

But neither time nor reason,

Will change the way I feel,

For no-one knows the heartache,

That lies behind our smiles,

No-one knows how many times,

We have broken down and cried,

We want to tell you something,

So there won't be any doubt,

You're so wonderful to think of,

But so hard to be without 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You'll see me in the morning frost,

that mists your window pane.

That's me in the summer showers,

I'll be dancing in the rain.

When you feel a little breeze,

from a gentle wind that blows

That's me, I'll be there,

planting a kiss on your nose.

When you see a child playing,

and your heart feels a little tug,

That's me, I'll be there,

giving your heart a hug.

So Daddy, please don't look so sad,

Mama don't you cry.

I'm in the arms of Jesus

and He sings me lullabies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There is no foot too small

that it cannot leave

an imprint on this world

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I thought of you and closed my eyes

And prayed to God today

I asked "What makes a Mother?"

And I know I heard Him say. 

"A Mother has a baby"

This we know is true

"But God can you be a Mother,

When your baby's not with you?" 

"Yes, you can," He replied

With confidence in His voice

"I give many women babies,

When they leave is not their choice. 

Some I send for a lifetime,

And others for the day.

And some I send to feel your womb,

But there's no need to stay." 

"I just don't understand this God

I want my baby to be here."

He took a deep breath and cleared His throat,

And then I saw the tear. 

"I wish I could show you,

What your child is doing today.

If you could see your child's smile,

With all the other children and say... 

'We go to Earth to learn our lessons,

Of love and life and fear.

My Mommy loved me oh so much,

I got to come strait here. 

I feel so lucky to have a Mom,

Who had so much love for me.

I learned my lessons very quickly,

My Mommy set me free. 

I miss my Mommy oh so much,

But I visit her every day.

When she goes to sleep,

On her pillow's where I lay

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,

And whisper in her ear. 

Mommy don't be sad today,

I'm your baby and I'm here.'

"So you see my dear sweet ones,

your children are okay. 

Your babies are born here in My home,

And this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with Me,

Until your lesson's through. 

And on the day that you come home

they'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother,

It's the feeling in your heart

it's the love you had so much of

Right from the very start

Though some on earth may not realize,

you are a Mother. 

Until their time is done.

They'll be up here with Me one day

and know that you are the best one!"