Weekend Ramblings

I’ve never written so many posts in all my life but they are helping a little.

I wasn’t going to do one today but I’m feeling a little fed up with everything.

We are skint; so skint that we have £10 to last until ... god knows.

I started a new job - temping - on Friday after getting a random call out of the blue Thursday evening. It’s for a call center and it’s far from what I want to do for the rest of my life but we really need the money. It’s good that I’m working for a short while but I’m back to being in a crap job just to pay the bills.

Another thing that’s making me fed up is that it’s Bobby’s funeral on Tuesday. I thought I was ok with it but now that it is getting close it’s starting to scare the shit out of me.

One positive thing to write is that I managed to fall asleep last night without crying but that hasn’t stopped the tears today. I’ve finally started on his memorial box and I have gathered up his special purchases and gifts as well as the pictures of my belly and his scans and the hospital records. His clothes are still hanging up in the wardrobe because I still can’t bear to take them down even though it hurts to see them there.

I contacted a solicitor yesterday about a possible claim towards my Doctor for not checking me when I went in to say I thought my waters had broken and towards the hospital for the way they left Bobby to die after it was confirmed he had a heartbeat. They say they will let me know on Monday if I have a case or not. We can only wait and see.