Money Worries

Where do I start?

• The week before finding out I was pregnant, we were moving ourselves into our own flat after six months of living at the MIL's due to redundancy on my behalf 9 months before.

• I was starting a brand new permanent job which had taken me over a year of temping to find.

• Then after twenty eight months of TTC; we were pregnant.

They say things come in three’s.

I’m now seventeen weeks pregnant, claiming job seekers allowance after being sacked and we are struggling like hell to find the money to live from week to week let alone pay the rent!

I got my first JSA payment today; a whole £101 to last us two weeks. I’ve just had to pay out £40 of it to one of our debtors who were threatening to send the bailiffs round. We are over £9000 in debt and we have been paying out over £200 per month just to pay them off.

WTF are we to do. How the hell are we going to cope when this baby arrives if we are struggling now.

It was all sorted, we had plans.

I was going to return to work after nine months maternity and as the OH is self employed he would look after the baby while working from home.

Now however, instead of having a relaxing pregnancy and enjoying the fact that we finally managed to conceive, I am looking for temp work and when feeling really down like today, a very small part of me wishes that I wasn’t pregnant at all. It kills me to say it but if I wasn’t then I would be able to find a job and make things right again.

At the moment it feels like I’m doomed to be stuck indoors for the next six months dreading letters through the door or phone calls and not being able to buy the things which I wanted to buy for our new long awaited baby.