17 Weeks

As much as I love being pregnant, over the past couple of days I have felt quite down about it. I think it’s due to being stuck in this house, doing nothing with my day except housework and job searching. I wouldn’t mind so much if I had a baby to look after while doing the housework but when your day revolves around nothing but it, it does get you down.

I spent a lot of time yesterday crying or asleep. I know the OH is worrying about me not working and therefore not bringing in the much needed monthly pay but as I keep explaining to him, I’m trying to get a job and I am getting phone calls from agencies which seem to go positively at first until I mention that I’m pregnant and then I never hear from them again.

I had to sign on for the first time today at the job centre and as soon as I got there my heart sank. The man behind the desk, told me that I was to be put forward for a days class this Thursday on 'how to look for work'. No offence to anyone but I have been working non-stop since I was 16 and I have never had a problem with being in employment; whether it be permanent or temporary.

I know how to get a job but I simply can’t get a job. I don’t need to spend a day in a classroom 'learning' something of which is out of my control.

After the visit to the job centre, I had a call from the OH's friends partner who has a little boy, asking me if I wanted to come round for the afternoon. While there, she brought out a black bin liner FULL of vests, sleep suites, booties, jeans, dungarees, t-shirts, hats, shirts and knitted items. I haven’t yet counted how many items there are in total but; they add up to four full loads of washing!

I know some people don’t like to use second hand clothes on babies but my way of thinking is that what she has given us is from Newborn to nine months and the majority of it is from Baby Gap and Next and to buy it all new would cost a FORTUNE of which we simply don’t have!

She explained that 60% of it has never been worn as they were brought so many items from friends and family, that he grew out of it before she got around to putting it on him – another great reason why second hand can be better.

Two loads of the clothes are now hanging up to dry around the flat and it’s quite a strange sight to see.:)

Over the past couple of days I have been experiencing pains in my belly area. It’s like slight cramping but I guess it’s more stretching pains then anything to worry about. At the same time I have also started to feel the baby kicking which is amazingly strange but I love it so so much. He/she seems to kick in response to things as well. We seem to be in tune with each other already.

The sides of my belly have now started to harden and I can no longer sleep on my back comfortably. Sleeping on my side is not much better either but it saves me from waking up with cramp in my leg or in need of the toilet during the night.

This evening I noticed that my *TMI Alert* discharge has gone slightly brown in colour. To be fair I have been expecting to see this due to my period which would have been last week; as in previous months, so I’m not going to stress myself out about it as there is only three weeks to go until the twenty week scan and plus I have had a very busy day running after a mad three year old boy. If anything changes then of course I will go down to the hospital.

It’s now 1am and time for bed. Zzz I have so many things going around in my head at the moment which needed to come out via my fingers tonight. Here’s hoping that tomorrow brings some luck job wise.