Taking Things For Granted

I have just spent the past 30 minutes going through my ‘baby’ email account which I set up while TTC. It was only set up for the sole purpose of giving it out to websites/promotions etc as I didn’t want my other email account clogged up with spam.

When I first found out I was pregnant I was quick to Google everything pregnancy related. I came across so many sites which offered free stuff and I set up lots of accounts all in the hope of receiving some ‘exciting’ offers through the post. As thankful as I am now, while doing this I came across the social networking site which I am still a part of and which soon became my savior before, during and since Bobby dying.

Unfortunately for me and many others, these websites do not know when you have lost so they continue to send you promotional emails or freebies through the door. I have finally thought it about time that I went through every email sitting within the inbox and close all accounts that I set up while pregnant.

This got me thinking.

How quick was I (and many others) to jump on to the baby bandwagon? Never did it enter my head that it would all be in vain and that something would go wrong. Don’t get me wrong, there was always a slight niggle at the back of my mind and I never really allowed myself to enjoy the pregnancy ‘just in case’ but looking back, even though the thought was there, I never really took it seriously enough not to get caught up in the mad world of being pregnant.

I only knew of a friend of a friend who had lost babies but as with everything else in life I thought ‘Oh it won’t happen to me. It’s something which happens to others’.

Our next pregnancy will be different *touch wood*. Everything will be different infact. I will not be taking any of it for granted. Maybe I wont be as lucky as with Bobby where I had no morning sickness but it doesn’t matter how sick and tired, or how large I become, I will never ever ever complain of aches or pains or feeling sick. Not once will I moan because my clothes will not fit or that my face is all spotty.

I would give anything to be back there again. I would give anything to have the privilege of growing a little person inside of me. My boobs can sag for all I care. I’ll buy a better bra or save for a boob job. My hair can fall out; I will embrace my new look and splash out on a new hat. My gums can bleed and my teeth rot; I will use the opportunity to have a great new set of sparklers.

Each and every pregnancy should never be taken for granted. Yes women get pregnant every day, but 1 out of every 4 of those ladies will end up with a sad story to tell like mine; with there being millions of ladies all over the world who will never experience pregnancy full stop.

It is not until you think of pregnancy like that, do you realise just how much of an honour has been bestowed upon you and what a mammoth and important job your body is doing.

I’m not saying that a lady should worry herself for the full 9 months, I’m just asking that she be thankful and realise just how lucky she truly is.