Infection Free!

For the first time in four months my results have come back as clear. I am finally infection free. I'm glad. Hopefully when I get home and tell my OH it will be enough for him want to start BD again lol.

This week has been a long and emotionally tiring week for many reasons of which are too long to go into. I’ve been wanting to cry all week but the tears just won’t flow freely. When this happens I feel full to the brim like if I don't spring a leak somewhere, I will burst at an inappropriate time.

While sitting on the bus on the way home from work last night my eyes started welling up with tears because out of the blue, an image of a little baby boy appeared to me in a vision.

He was on his back, his arms flapping around. He was gurgling and he was looking straight at me. He had dark eyes and the most beautiful big lips. It took some effort not to start crying there and then and I had no choice but to push the image out of my mind. It feels like a sign.

The OH and I are going out tomorrow night for the first time this year. A friend of his girlfriend is having her birthday at a club but I really don't want to go. Not only do I have nothing to wear as I have outgrown my clothes but I really don't like the woman.

Tomorrow night will be the first time we have seen her and her friends since Bobby died and I still can not forget that she can not be trusted from past experience or that we received no card, no phone call, not even a text to say 'sorry'. I know there will be lots of questions she and her friends will ask. I know I will hear the usual 'at least you now know you can have kids' because the last time we all went out we were 2 years into TTC and I was asked lots of questions then. 'Why has it taken so long?'' What’s wrong with you?' 'Is OH not up to it? *giggle*' blah blah blah.

I would much rather stay at home in my PJ's, surfing the net, eating takeaway, go to bed, fall asleep in a snuggle with my man.