Seven Days To Go

This time next week would have been our little man’s due day.

I have been asked a few times over the past couple of days how I’m feeling about it and I can answer truthfully by saying “I feel fine”.

Looking back on this past week or so I think I have finally faced and temporarily beaten the demons by finding ways to cope with him not being here in person.

By accepting that he is not and never will be here in body, I have not felt sad every day. By having his picture next to me at night time, I have not cried each and every night for some time.

During the very frequent moments of the day where I think of my Son; I talk to him silently, I ask him how he is, I tell him I hope he is having fun or I simply share a joke. Those times where I have nothing to say I picture him as a little boy playing among other Angel children. I imagine him running amok having fun, not even realising that he was originally destined for somewhere else; to be down here with me and his Daddy.

I realise the above is a fantasy but it’s a nice comfortable place to be and for that reason he will always remain that little baby boy to me. He will never age in my mind. My Son will always be my cheeky chappie who loves nothing more then to get up to mischief simply because he is free to do so.

Free is an appropriate word to use right now. It’s a fluffy cloud word. Bobby is free from the troubles of every day life down here on Earth and I am at present free of the depression, the guilt and the ‘what if’s’.

For that reason alone, it allows us to be spiritually together forever, even though physically we are so far apart.