There has been quite a lot of talk on my Birth Board recently about AN classes and birth pools etc etc.
I admit that neither have entered my head yet. It feels a little early too be thinking of these things but then is it too early or am I strange not to think about these things yet?
Am I a bad Mum for not even wanting to attend an AN class?
I'm not too keen on these afternoon coffee chats either which women seem to want to join and meet other Mum's and talk about nothing but their baby.
Maybe once baby is here, they will be all I want to talk about and I will want to met new people but at the moment, I cant think of anything worse.
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
Friday, 29 May 2009
Money Worries
Where do I start?
• The week before finding out I was pregnant, we were moving ourselves into our own flat after six months of living at the MIL's due to redundancy on my behalf 9 months before.
• I was starting a brand new permanent job which had taken me over a year of temping to find.
• Then after twenty eight months of TTC; we were pregnant.
They say things come in three’s.
I’m now seventeen weeks pregnant, claiming job seekers allowance after being sacked and we are struggling like hell to find the money to live from week to week let alone pay the rent!
I got my first JSA payment today; a whole £101 to last us two weeks. I’ve just had to pay out £40 of it to one of our debtors who were threatening to send the bailiffs round. We are over £9000 in debt and we have been paying out over £200 per month just to pay them off.
WTF are we to do. How the hell are we going to cope when this baby arrives if we are struggling now.
It was all sorted, we had plans.
I was going to return to work after nine months maternity and as the OH is self employed he would look after the baby while working from home.
Now however, instead of having a relaxing pregnancy and enjoying the fact that we finally managed to conceive, I am looking for temp work and when feeling really down like today, a very small part of me wishes that I wasn’t pregnant at all. It kills me to say it but if I wasn’t then I would be able to find a job and make things right again.
At the moment it feels like I’m doomed to be stuck indoors for the next six months dreading letters through the door or phone calls and not being able to buy the things which I wanted to buy for our new long awaited baby.
• The week before finding out I was pregnant, we were moving ourselves into our own flat after six months of living at the MIL's due to redundancy on my behalf 9 months before.
• I was starting a brand new permanent job which had taken me over a year of temping to find.
• Then after twenty eight months of TTC; we were pregnant.
They say things come in three’s.
I’m now seventeen weeks pregnant, claiming job seekers allowance after being sacked and we are struggling like hell to find the money to live from week to week let alone pay the rent!
I got my first JSA payment today; a whole £101 to last us two weeks. I’ve just had to pay out £40 of it to one of our debtors who were threatening to send the bailiffs round. We are over £9000 in debt and we have been paying out over £200 per month just to pay them off.
WTF are we to do. How the hell are we going to cope when this baby arrives if we are struggling now.
It was all sorted, we had plans.
I was going to return to work after nine months maternity and as the OH is self employed he would look after the baby while working from home.
Now however, instead of having a relaxing pregnancy and enjoying the fact that we finally managed to conceive, I am looking for temp work and when feeling really down like today, a very small part of me wishes that I wasn’t pregnant at all. It kills me to say it but if I wasn’t then I would be able to find a job and make things right again.
At the moment it feels like I’m doomed to be stuck indoors for the next six months dreading letters through the door or phone calls and not being able to buy the things which I wanted to buy for our new long awaited baby.
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
17 Weeks
As much as I love being pregnant, over the past couple of days I have felt quite down about it. I think it’s due to being stuck in this house, doing nothing with my day except housework and job searching. I wouldn’t mind so much if I had a baby to look after while doing the housework but when your day revolves around nothing but it, it does get you down.
I spent a lot of time yesterday crying or asleep. I know the OH is worrying about me not working and therefore not bringing in the much needed monthly pay but as I keep explaining to him, I’m trying to get a job and I am getting phone calls from agencies which seem to go positively at first until I mention that I’m pregnant and then I never hear from them again.
I had to sign on for the first time today at the job centre and as soon as I got there my heart sank. The man behind the desk, told me that I was to be put forward for a days class this Thursday on 'how to look for work'. No offence to anyone but I have been working non-stop since I was 16 and I have never had a problem with being in employment; whether it be permanent or temporary.
I know how to get a job but I simply can’t get a job. I don’t need to spend a day in a classroom 'learning' something of which is out of my control.
After the visit to the job centre, I had a call from the OH's friends partner who has a little boy, asking me if I wanted to come round for the afternoon. While there, she brought out a black bin liner FULL of vests, sleep suites, booties, jeans, dungarees, t-shirts, hats, shirts and knitted items. I haven’t yet counted how many items there are in total but; they add up to four full loads of washing!
I know some people don’t like to use second hand clothes on babies but my way of thinking is that what she has given us is from Newborn to nine months and the majority of it is from Baby Gap and Next and to buy it all new would cost a FORTUNE of which we simply don’t have!
She explained that 60% of it has never been worn as they were brought so many items from friends and family, that he grew out of it before she got around to putting it on him – another great reason why second hand can be better.
Two loads of the clothes are now hanging up to dry around the flat and it’s quite a strange sight to see.:)
Over the past couple of days I have been experiencing pains in my belly area. It’s like slight cramping but I guess it’s more stretching pains then anything to worry about. At the same time I have also started to feel the baby kicking which is amazingly strange but I love it so so much. He/she seems to kick in response to things as well. We seem to be in tune with each other already.
The sides of my belly have now started to harden and I can no longer sleep on my back comfortably. Sleeping on my side is not much better either but it saves me from waking up with cramp in my leg or in need of the toilet during the night.
This evening I noticed that my *TMI Alert* discharge has gone slightly brown in colour. To be fair I have been expecting to see this due to my period which would have been last week; as in previous months, so I’m not going to stress myself out about it as there is only three weeks to go until the twenty week scan and plus I have had a very busy day running after a mad three year old boy. If anything changes then of course I will go down to the hospital.
It’s now 1am and time for bed. Zzz I have so many things going around in my head at the moment which needed to come out via my fingers tonight. Here’s hoping that tomorrow brings some luck job wise.
I spent a lot of time yesterday crying or asleep. I know the OH is worrying about me not working and therefore not bringing in the much needed monthly pay but as I keep explaining to him, I’m trying to get a job and I am getting phone calls from agencies which seem to go positively at first until I mention that I’m pregnant and then I never hear from them again.
I had to sign on for the first time today at the job centre and as soon as I got there my heart sank. The man behind the desk, told me that I was to be put forward for a days class this Thursday on 'how to look for work'. No offence to anyone but I have been working non-stop since I was 16 and I have never had a problem with being in employment; whether it be permanent or temporary.
I know how to get a job but I simply can’t get a job. I don’t need to spend a day in a classroom 'learning' something of which is out of my control.
After the visit to the job centre, I had a call from the OH's friends partner who has a little boy, asking me if I wanted to come round for the afternoon. While there, she brought out a black bin liner FULL of vests, sleep suites, booties, jeans, dungarees, t-shirts, hats, shirts and knitted items. I haven’t yet counted how many items there are in total but; they add up to four full loads of washing!
I know some people don’t like to use second hand clothes on babies but my way of thinking is that what she has given us is from Newborn to nine months and the majority of it is from Baby Gap and Next and to buy it all new would cost a FORTUNE of which we simply don’t have!
She explained that 60% of it has never been worn as they were brought so many items from friends and family, that he grew out of it before she got around to putting it on him – another great reason why second hand can be better.
Two loads of the clothes are now hanging up to dry around the flat and it’s quite a strange sight to see.:)
Over the past couple of days I have been experiencing pains in my belly area. It’s like slight cramping but I guess it’s more stretching pains then anything to worry about. At the same time I have also started to feel the baby kicking which is amazingly strange but I love it so so much. He/she seems to kick in response to things as well. We seem to be in tune with each other already.
The sides of my belly have now started to harden and I can no longer sleep on my back comfortably. Sleeping on my side is not much better either but it saves me from waking up with cramp in my leg or in need of the toilet during the night.
This evening I noticed that my *TMI Alert* discharge has gone slightly brown in colour. To be fair I have been expecting to see this due to my period which would have been last week; as in previous months, so I’m not going to stress myself out about it as there is only three weeks to go until the twenty week scan and plus I have had a very busy day running after a mad three year old boy. If anything changes then of course I will go down to the hospital.
It’s now 1am and time for bed. Zzz I have so many things going around in my head at the moment which needed to come out via my fingers tonight. Here’s hoping that tomorrow brings some luck job wise.
Tuesday, 26 May 2009
Changes in Belly Size
I know that a normal belly increases as the day goes on, but mine seems to be all different sizes during different times of the day.
When I wake, it’s hardly there but close to bed time, it appears as though I am due to give birth. I'll admit that since being unemployed I'm not eating as much as I'm not in any routine - i.e. breakfast/lunch etc - but I sometimes feel like its just belly fat and not a baby.
I'm 15+2 and I have put on a stone, yet I can still fit into my jeans...
When I wake, it’s hardly there but close to bed time, it appears as though I am due to give birth. I'll admit that since being unemployed I'm not eating as much as I'm not in any routine - i.e. breakfast/lunch etc - but I sometimes feel like its just belly fat and not a baby.
I'm 15+2 and I have put on a stone, yet I can still fit into my jeans...
Monday, 25 May 2009
My Pro's of Pregnancy
There are quite a few posts on my Birth Board regarding the negative things of pregnancy so I thought I would make a list of my Pro's of Pregnancy considering its taken us so long to get here and despite my moans and groans about life in general; I love being pregnant. I just wish others did also.
Here is my top 3:
*Even though our finances could be better, over the past couple of weeks I have learnt to become more relaxed and less stressed about things of which beforehand would have felt like the end of the world.
*Standing in front of the mirror has never been so fascinating (or enjoyable)
*Yes I now have spots and nasty hair but I actually don't care. I feel as though I am entitled to look like a crazy lady with messy hair and a greasy face and I really don't care what others think.
Here is my top 3:
*Even though our finances could be better, over the past couple of weeks I have learnt to become more relaxed and less stressed about things of which beforehand would have felt like the end of the world.
*Standing in front of the mirror has never been so fascinating (or enjoyable)
*Yes I now have spots and nasty hair but I actually don't care. I feel as though I am entitled to look like a crazy lady with messy hair and a greasy face and I really don't care what others think.
Saturday, 23 May 2009
Blah Blah Blah
Tonight is my best friends 30th birthday meal, of which I’m looking forward to but also a bit miffed at that I can’t get drunk with her and everyone else who is going. It will be strange not being a part of it but I would rather be pregnant then drunk tonight.
I tried on a dress this morning which I brought a few weeks back and it JUST fits over my ever expanding bump. Infact it’s now more like a long pink top so, I’m going to wear it with some black leggings and brave wearing some black heels. I haven’t worn heels since falling pregnant but at least I'll have a clear head to walk straight in them.
I have posted the twelve week scan pictures onto a website where the ladies on there guess the baby’s sex from their 'nub' and so far all fifteen comments have said they would be surprised if it wasn’t a boy because apparently the nub is very distinctive. :)
I’ve still not found a job despite applying for anything and everything going, so last night I had a change around of my CV and reposted it again in the hope it would make someone view it and say 'oh yes she'll be perfect'. With my OH being self employed, he has got me helping him out with the posting and packaging etc which has taken some of the load off of him and it has given me something else to do other then housework.
I don’t think there is anything much else to say …
(picture 16 week belly)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
