Weekend Away

Time for another post me thinks.

I remember when I first started this blog, I was typing away almost every day while at work either moaning about work or worrying about the pregnancy and then when I lost Bobby this was where I came to lay everything out on the table so to speak. It was the only place I could truly say what I was thinking without the fear of people thinking I was going mad.

I am at this moment, personally proud that the posts on this blog are now being posted a week or two apart because it means there is less mess going around within my head.

Today I am feeling quite good. Tomorrow I may not so today I will document it so that it is proof that there have been good days.

The OH and I have made some progress emotionally. After a lot of nagging from him over the past couple of weeks and strange behaviour on Valentines Day, it all came out in the open Monday daytime. So much so that a few texts were sent between us while the both of us were in tears.

It was a strange time to finally open up about his emotions and fears but he did and it has helped us both to take another small step forward. Opening up has clearly helped him to go about his daily business without being in a mood and it has allowed me a tiny glimpse in to his head.

He confessed to still crying over Bobby most days. He confessed that he thinks he has depression but he is still not at the stage where he will talk to the Doctor about it and ask for help. He has even said that he is nearly ready to look at his photos.

I bought Bobby a new memory box yesterday. The one I bought after he first died was bought in haste and I haven’t been happy with it for some time but yesterday I came across the perfect one. It’s cream in colour with light blue butterflies on it and little handles on the side. It’s lovely.

It is my Dad's 50th Birthday this Sunday. My Brother, his OH and us two are driving down there tomorrow night and we are taking him out for the day on Saturday as a surprise. Dad is a bit of a train freak; not quite spotter material but getting there, so we have booked 1st Class tickets on an old Steam Train and we can all spend the day going from station to station, having a picnic and watching him in his element.

That night we shall be going around to our Aunt and Uncles house and on Sunday ten of us will go out for a Sunday roast.

I'm really looking forward to it TBH. I haven’t seen my parents since Christmas and I wont get to see them until at least June/July.

On another note, I am currently making a 'Nanny's Day Card'; something Ive never made before so its hit and miss at the moment in preparation for Mothers Day. Just like I'm still a Mummy she is still a Nanny.