Cant Think of a Title

I thought this a good time to write a journal after seeing tons of posts on the net about the 'One Born Every Minute' programme *rolls eyes*.

Having read some of the comments from the ladies I'm feeling quite tearful from just seeing the comments, let alone the sights and sounds of the programme; I knew I was right to avoid it like the plague. Thankfully my OH is watching 'Last Woman Standing' so there was never a chance of watching it anyway.

A simple programme of something which happens every single day is yet more confirmation that there are still some things I must avoid in order to keep my sanity. There is no point in punishing yourself for no reason.

A strange thing happened in the early hours Sunday morning. After Goggling myself - as in my screen name not my real name - I came across a link to this blog on 'a real-time search engine for breaking news and topical content' (or so it says).

Having clicked this link it took me through to a Norwegian woman's Twitter page. Very random. She had linked to this blog commenting; 'been reading this blog, I'm crying my eyes out.'

It’s strange because despite having had a personal blog since 2004 its the first time I’ve ever seen anyone link to it. It’s a whole different feeling from receiving a comment on a post. It’s quite strange when you know a stranger has been so affected by your words on their screen that they link to it in order to share it with their friends or contacts. Its also quite a hard hitting reminder that as soon as you hit the Save or Post button, your inner most thoughts or emotions are no longer your own.

I'm not quite sure where this post is going in all honesty ...

Seeing her reaction to my words has got me thinking; if she felt the need to cry her eyes out over something which a stranger on the web has written then just how bad was it for us to have lived through? I actually can not remember the intensity of that pain anymore. I know that sounds strange but it makes perfect sense in my mind.

As much as the bad days come and sometime stay; its not until I'm forced to remember how bad that period of time was straight after we lost him, do I truly realise just how far I have come.

I don't want Bobby's short life and death to be in vain. Before he was conceived I was always in the mind that 'everything happens for a reason'.

Seven months down the line; I still cant find that reason, so instead of keep looking for something of which I might never find, I have woken up to the fact that I should instead 'do' something to make that pain worthwhile.

Unfortunately, I don't have a clue what or how ...