Six Month Angelversary

I have spent a lot of today crying and it’s made me realise that I have a problem.

I have been feeling down within myself for a while now and its only after not getting out of bed until 5pm today after getting up at 2pm, crying, having an argument with the OH and going back to bed again only to wake up and cry some more; I think I may have some form of depression of which I need to get a control over.

OH and I have been arguing a lot this weekend, which we never do unless something is seriously wrong and what he has said to me has made me realise how distant and selfish I have been when he needs support too.

He says that I have seemed down for the past two months especially and he is right. This weekends argument started all because he wanted me to put a pile of washing away which had been sitting in the bedroom for over a month; I flew off the handle putting him down with nasty words and all because I couldn’t be bothered to put it away.

In all honesty I can not be bothered to do anything anymore. I haven't even got washed today. I don't get out of bed at the weekend until the afternoon unless I have a reason to get up. Even then I resent it when I have to go out of the house. Its ok popping to the shops because we live next door to a Tesco, but even then I will go in there without makeup, in my tracksuit which I have probably slept in and I no longer look forward to meeting up with friends because I would rather spend all day indoors at home doing nothing.

I was told off at work on NYE due to my constant lateness and also due to the fact that I have shown up on the 'overuse of the internet' tracker by IT who have reported it to my Manager. As I am a temp I really can not afford to lose my job so I know the time has come to sort myself out. I don't want to end up losing my job, my social life nor my OH.