Progress

The OH and I had a talk yesterday about the way our relationship is going and how to overcome certain objects we are finding hard to deal with. He says that he is stressed about money but once that starts to pick up one way or another he will feel better about him, us and our future. He says he wants children but wants to be able to provide for them and us first because he doesn’t want the extra worry.

Money to him is a big thing and tb, if we ever have a problem, its normal to do with money. Considering we have been together 11 years we don’t really argue and have never ‘had a break’ etc so I know we are meant for each other and will be together until one of us decides to join Bobby in the sky.

I asked him if he thought he may be depressed and he paused and said ‘maybe’. I asked if he would consider doing something about it like going to the Doctors or speaking to someone but as I expected he fobbed both off. I can’t talk though as I have done exactly the same in the past.

So that’s it. I am leaving it now and see what happens within the next month. Im going to concentrate instead on the next four weekends which are full of visits to friends, my Dad’s 50th Birthday and a friends Baby Shower. Plus I think this is a good time to get back into shape and lose this extra two stones I have put on in the past nine months.

On another note, our flat is up for renewal at the end of February and thankfully our landlady is happy to extend it for another six months.

Work wise; the company I temp for are going through a restructure and a lot of people are going, however, my role is one they can not get rid off and the lady who is currently job sharing with me two days a week must reapply for her position (my current one) and I know that she does not want to come back full time as she is addicted to her baby so, *fingers crossed* she wont reapply and the job will automatically go to me which means it will then become permanent. *Double fingers crossed!*

I have just called my hospital to request all of my notes and letters from my Maternity Book. It wasn’t until after a thread on the support network I am part of that I realised I wanted a copy of everything; right from the first visit to the very end. Maybe it will put some ghosts to bed and help my mind compute what happened.