My last journal post seems like it was written an eternity ago. Reading back on it Im glad it does considering what I had written.
I’ve spent the last couple of weeks in ‘hiding’ if truth be told. I needed some space to get my head back together and to give myself the time to step back from anything baby related or real life related for that matter.
I spent that time away from the internet reading. A lot of reading. Infact Id read on the way home from work and after dinner all the way up until 2am when I realised I needed to go to bed in order to get up the next day for work. Last weekend I only stopped reading to cook and eat dinner. I did nothing at all but live in the world of Vampires and Werewolves and it was very much what I needed.
I wonder now if I maybe had a little breakdown but I am in control of it. Last week and the week before I wasn’t; but I am now. I am afteral still learning to live with my new life with the new me.
I know that I have to start looking forward instead of reliving July on a daily basis. I need to get back to talking to my friends and start to socialise once more before I loose them completely. I can’t keep living in the shadow of the 3rd of July 2009.
It’s my OH’s 39th birthday tomorrow. I haven’t asked him how he feels about it and I'm not going to because I don’t want to make him think about it but if the truth be told, I feel a little sad for him. It would have been his first birthday as a Daddy. Because of this I'm determined to make it a special day for him and to make sure he doesn’t have time to dwell on this fact.
I asked him a couple of weeks ago in general conversation that if he could chose a perfect birthday, what would happen. He said he would like to wake up to a McDonalds Breakfast, go out for the day shopping and then come home to his favourite home cooked meal and maybe finish the day with a bit of the other. Luckily for him I'm a very good girlfriend and I have set the day up so that everything on his list is achieved; not that he knows this yet.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment