Christmas Shopping for an Angel

It is five months to the day that my baby was born asleep.

I can’t believe it’s been that long and yet at the same time, all I have to do is close my eyes and I am back in that room like it was yesterday.

I went Christmas shopping for him today. I know that those who haven't lost will now be thinking 'why the hell are you Christmas shopping for someone who is not alive' but to me it’s still his First Christmas and he may not be around but I can not forget him. He is on my mind twenty four seven.

I have bought him two little mini snow globes which you can hang from the Christmas tree and as we are spending this year with my parents, they shall hang from their tree. My parents are coming down in a couple of weekend’s time as they want to visit his grave and my Mum has bought him a lovely clear bauble with a tree inside of it. This will be put onto his grave on a special stand my Dad is putting together and it will then be wrapped away for the following years to come.

I also bought Bobby a large 'My first Christmas 2009' bauble which is in a presentation box. I have decided this will stay in its box and will be placed into his Memory Box to be kept forever. It’s too special to be opened at the moment.

I have also bought him a first Christmas card.

I have a very strong will to keep everything which reminds me of him - I take photos of everything I buy or receive as a gift and place it into his Memory Album - so this shall be written in but will then be placed into its envelope and again placed into his box. It’s far too special to be left on his grave to get wet.

I would like to start a collection of something to buy on every one of his special days; six month anniversary, his yearly Angelversary, Wave of Light, Christmas etc etc and I have been racking my brain as to what to collect until I remembered something I was given back in September.

My Cousin bought Bobby a large 'Blue Nose Bear' to put onto his grave shortly after he died of which has been sitting in our bedroom ever since because I can not bring myself to let it get dirty in the mud. The Christmas Bauble and his card are the 'Blue Nose Bear' so from this day forward my Son shall have a collection of these.

Its the least I can get him.