5 weeks {244 days to go}

Dear Bobby, 

6 days ago we found out we were pregnant with you after two years and four months of trying.

We got our BFP at my parent’s house while there for a weekend break because my brother ~ your uncle ~ brought his new girlfriend home for the first time. It was quite a big deal.

The night before I did the pregnancy test, I had cried my eyes out to your Nan as despite wanting you so much, I was scared and shocked that you may actually be real. Since then you’ve had me crying on and off but I know it’s not on purpose.

For the past five days I have had on and off cramps and ’spotting’ as they call it. I spent four hours at the hospital yesterday waiting to find out if you were still there as the cramps and spotting had become more frequent and heavy.

I had to wait an hour for the blood test to come back to confirm that my hormone levels were correct, before I could have an ultra sound. I spent that hour walking around the hospital, reading a magazine, making phone calls to your Nan, your Dad and my work as it was my last day that day, eating a sausage sandwich and trying not to think about what if the result was bad.

Just before 12 o’clock I was advised that my hormone levels where correct and I was asked to wait for an ultra sound.

Looking at you on the screen I wished that your Dad was there also but he was at home moving us into our new flat. As you were/are only five weeks old you appeared on the screen as a small black blob ~ hence the nickname I have given you ~ Bob the Blob.

I was told everything looked normal but they could see where I had, had a bleed and that you were conceived from the left ovary. What a mad thought. :)

While at the hospital I had no bleeding nor cramps, until I was getting ready for bed last night. The cramps lasted until this morning and while you’re Dad and his friend moved more stuff into the new flat, I spent the time lying on the bed crying and asleep.

I hope that despite the spotting and the cramps, you are still within me and the small black blob on the screen from yesterday is not the last I see of you.

I want so much to see you again in ten days time when I have another ultra sound booked but until then I know I will continue to worry.

Love Mummy xox