I was woken in the early hours by the OH shouting out 'it’s not mine!’ I wonder if he was dreaming about our baby lol:)
When he did wake, he wasn’t in the best of moods. When I questioned him about his grumpiness he said that it was due to our financial situation and that he'd never wanted to bring a baby up on benefits. Sometimes I feel he blames me for losing my job.
As much as I have been stressing out about being out of work, I do have the habit of forgetting that he too gets worried but being a typical man, he will not talk about things until he becomes so stressed that he blurts it all out.
After our chat we went to the second midwife appointment, where this time the MW had a trainee with her. Everything seems ok. My blood pressure is lower then at the twelve week appt. but they didn’t have a problem with it. My urine is clear of anything nasty and they found the heartbeat straight away; right under my belly button. They also said that my blood tests which were taken after the twelve week scan are all clear of any STD (which I was expecting!) but I will have to have a rubella injection once the baby is born as the one I had while at school has run out.
I did lay there thinking the heartbeat sounded like a train at first but then straight away thought it sounded like a horse :) What I do know is that this baby doesnt like being prodded because since leaving the clinic, its done nothing but prod me back!
The next midwife's appointment is on 2nd July and the sex scan is on 17th June which is only thirteen days away!!! :)
On another note, I had a call from the job centre yesterday as I requested a one-two-one with an advisor to discuss what I can claim while I’ve the chance to. The one-two-one is on Monday so hopefully they will be able to find something on their system which I can apply for.
I’ve been thinking that maybe it might be a good idea to ask if they themselves need a temp. You never know, it may just work.
Thursday, 4 June 2009
Wednesday, 3 June 2009
Clothes, Clothes, Everywhere!
I have somehow ended up with 60 vests and sleepers and I am trying to sort through them all and only keep what we will actually use or indeed need.
The thing is, how many times a day does the baby clothes need to be changed and does one sleeper last all night?
I am thinking of selling the rest of the vests/sleepers at a car boot in a couple of weeks and I know that if I keep them all then I will end up using them all and I will eventually get bogged down with washing, which isn't a good thing when your washing machine takes 2 hours on a normal cycle!
There are so many questions I have running around my head. I never realised there would be so many things to think about for such a small person. I never imagined having a baby would be so confusing and this is before baby has even arrived yet!
One thing I am pretty sure of though is that 8 pairs of scratch mittens is too much ... :)
The thing is, how many times a day does the baby clothes need to be changed and does one sleeper last all night?
I am thinking of selling the rest of the vests/sleepers at a car boot in a couple of weeks and I know that if I keep them all then I will end up using them all and I will eventually get bogged down with washing, which isn't a good thing when your washing machine takes 2 hours on a normal cycle!
There are so many questions I have running around my head. I never realised there would be so many things to think about for such a small person. I never imagined having a baby would be so confusing and this is before baby has even arrived yet!
One thing I am pretty sure of though is that 8 pairs of scratch mittens is too much ... :)
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
Antenatal Classes
There has been quite a lot of talk on my Birth Board recently about AN classes and birth pools etc etc.
I admit that neither have entered my head yet. It feels a little early too be thinking of these things but then is it too early or am I strange not to think about these things yet?
Am I a bad Mum for not even wanting to attend an AN class?
I'm not too keen on these afternoon coffee chats either which women seem to want to join and meet other Mum's and talk about nothing but their baby.
Maybe once baby is here, they will be all I want to talk about and I will want to met new people but at the moment, I cant think of anything worse.
I admit that neither have entered my head yet. It feels a little early too be thinking of these things but then is it too early or am I strange not to think about these things yet?
Am I a bad Mum for not even wanting to attend an AN class?
I'm not too keen on these afternoon coffee chats either which women seem to want to join and meet other Mum's and talk about nothing but their baby.
Maybe once baby is here, they will be all I want to talk about and I will want to met new people but at the moment, I cant think of anything worse.
Friday, 29 May 2009
Money Worries
Where do I start?
• The week before finding out I was pregnant, we were moving ourselves into our own flat after six months of living at the MIL's due to redundancy on my behalf 9 months before.
• I was starting a brand new permanent job which had taken me over a year of temping to find.
• Then after twenty eight months of TTC; we were pregnant.
They say things come in three’s.
I’m now seventeen weeks pregnant, claiming job seekers allowance after being sacked and we are struggling like hell to find the money to live from week to week let alone pay the rent!
I got my first JSA payment today; a whole £101 to last us two weeks. I’ve just had to pay out £40 of it to one of our debtors who were threatening to send the bailiffs round. We are over £9000 in debt and we have been paying out over £200 per month just to pay them off.
WTF are we to do. How the hell are we going to cope when this baby arrives if we are struggling now.
It was all sorted, we had plans.
I was going to return to work after nine months maternity and as the OH is self employed he would look after the baby while working from home.
Now however, instead of having a relaxing pregnancy and enjoying the fact that we finally managed to conceive, I am looking for temp work and when feeling really down like today, a very small part of me wishes that I wasn’t pregnant at all. It kills me to say it but if I wasn’t then I would be able to find a job and make things right again.
At the moment it feels like I’m doomed to be stuck indoors for the next six months dreading letters through the door or phone calls and not being able to buy the things which I wanted to buy for our new long awaited baby.
• The week before finding out I was pregnant, we were moving ourselves into our own flat after six months of living at the MIL's due to redundancy on my behalf 9 months before.
• I was starting a brand new permanent job which had taken me over a year of temping to find.
• Then after twenty eight months of TTC; we were pregnant.
They say things come in three’s.
I’m now seventeen weeks pregnant, claiming job seekers allowance after being sacked and we are struggling like hell to find the money to live from week to week let alone pay the rent!
I got my first JSA payment today; a whole £101 to last us two weeks. I’ve just had to pay out £40 of it to one of our debtors who were threatening to send the bailiffs round. We are over £9000 in debt and we have been paying out over £200 per month just to pay them off.
WTF are we to do. How the hell are we going to cope when this baby arrives if we are struggling now.
It was all sorted, we had plans.
I was going to return to work after nine months maternity and as the OH is self employed he would look after the baby while working from home.
Now however, instead of having a relaxing pregnancy and enjoying the fact that we finally managed to conceive, I am looking for temp work and when feeling really down like today, a very small part of me wishes that I wasn’t pregnant at all. It kills me to say it but if I wasn’t then I would be able to find a job and make things right again.
At the moment it feels like I’m doomed to be stuck indoors for the next six months dreading letters through the door or phone calls and not being able to buy the things which I wanted to buy for our new long awaited baby.
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
17 Weeks
As much as I love being pregnant, over the past couple of days I have felt quite down about it. I think it’s due to being stuck in this house, doing nothing with my day except housework and job searching. I wouldn’t mind so much if I had a baby to look after while doing the housework but when your day revolves around nothing but it, it does get you down.
I spent a lot of time yesterday crying or asleep. I know the OH is worrying about me not working and therefore not bringing in the much needed monthly pay but as I keep explaining to him, I’m trying to get a job and I am getting phone calls from agencies which seem to go positively at first until I mention that I’m pregnant and then I never hear from them again.
I had to sign on for the first time today at the job centre and as soon as I got there my heart sank. The man behind the desk, told me that I was to be put forward for a days class this Thursday on 'how to look for work'. No offence to anyone but I have been working non-stop since I was 16 and I have never had a problem with being in employment; whether it be permanent or temporary.
I know how to get a job but I simply can’t get a job. I don’t need to spend a day in a classroom 'learning' something of which is out of my control.
After the visit to the job centre, I had a call from the OH's friends partner who has a little boy, asking me if I wanted to come round for the afternoon. While there, she brought out a black bin liner FULL of vests, sleep suites, booties, jeans, dungarees, t-shirts, hats, shirts and knitted items. I haven’t yet counted how many items there are in total but; they add up to four full loads of washing!
I know some people don’t like to use second hand clothes on babies but my way of thinking is that what she has given us is from Newborn to nine months and the majority of it is from Baby Gap and Next and to buy it all new would cost a FORTUNE of which we simply don’t have!
She explained that 60% of it has never been worn as they were brought so many items from friends and family, that he grew out of it before she got around to putting it on him – another great reason why second hand can be better.
Two loads of the clothes are now hanging up to dry around the flat and it’s quite a strange sight to see.:)
Over the past couple of days I have been experiencing pains in my belly area. It’s like slight cramping but I guess it’s more stretching pains then anything to worry about. At the same time I have also started to feel the baby kicking which is amazingly strange but I love it so so much. He/she seems to kick in response to things as well. We seem to be in tune with each other already.
The sides of my belly have now started to harden and I can no longer sleep on my back comfortably. Sleeping on my side is not much better either but it saves me from waking up with cramp in my leg or in need of the toilet during the night.
This evening I noticed that my *TMI Alert* discharge has gone slightly brown in colour. To be fair I have been expecting to see this due to my period which would have been last week; as in previous months, so I’m not going to stress myself out about it as there is only three weeks to go until the twenty week scan and plus I have had a very busy day running after a mad three year old boy. If anything changes then of course I will go down to the hospital.
It’s now 1am and time for bed. Zzz I have so many things going around in my head at the moment which needed to come out via my fingers tonight. Here’s hoping that tomorrow brings some luck job wise.
I spent a lot of time yesterday crying or asleep. I know the OH is worrying about me not working and therefore not bringing in the much needed monthly pay but as I keep explaining to him, I’m trying to get a job and I am getting phone calls from agencies which seem to go positively at first until I mention that I’m pregnant and then I never hear from them again.
I had to sign on for the first time today at the job centre and as soon as I got there my heart sank. The man behind the desk, told me that I was to be put forward for a days class this Thursday on 'how to look for work'. No offence to anyone but I have been working non-stop since I was 16 and I have never had a problem with being in employment; whether it be permanent or temporary.
I know how to get a job but I simply can’t get a job. I don’t need to spend a day in a classroom 'learning' something of which is out of my control.
After the visit to the job centre, I had a call from the OH's friends partner who has a little boy, asking me if I wanted to come round for the afternoon. While there, she brought out a black bin liner FULL of vests, sleep suites, booties, jeans, dungarees, t-shirts, hats, shirts and knitted items. I haven’t yet counted how many items there are in total but; they add up to four full loads of washing!
I know some people don’t like to use second hand clothes on babies but my way of thinking is that what she has given us is from Newborn to nine months and the majority of it is from Baby Gap and Next and to buy it all new would cost a FORTUNE of which we simply don’t have!
She explained that 60% of it has never been worn as they were brought so many items from friends and family, that he grew out of it before she got around to putting it on him – another great reason why second hand can be better.
Two loads of the clothes are now hanging up to dry around the flat and it’s quite a strange sight to see.:)
Over the past couple of days I have been experiencing pains in my belly area. It’s like slight cramping but I guess it’s more stretching pains then anything to worry about. At the same time I have also started to feel the baby kicking which is amazingly strange but I love it so so much. He/she seems to kick in response to things as well. We seem to be in tune with each other already.
The sides of my belly have now started to harden and I can no longer sleep on my back comfortably. Sleeping on my side is not much better either but it saves me from waking up with cramp in my leg or in need of the toilet during the night.
This evening I noticed that my *TMI Alert* discharge has gone slightly brown in colour. To be fair I have been expecting to see this due to my period which would have been last week; as in previous months, so I’m not going to stress myself out about it as there is only three weeks to go until the twenty week scan and plus I have had a very busy day running after a mad three year old boy. If anything changes then of course I will go down to the hospital.
It’s now 1am and time for bed. Zzz I have so many things going around in my head at the moment which needed to come out via my fingers tonight. Here’s hoping that tomorrow brings some luck job wise.
Tuesday, 26 May 2009
Changes in Belly Size
I know that a normal belly increases as the day goes on, but mine seems to be all different sizes during different times of the day.
When I wake, it’s hardly there but close to bed time, it appears as though I am due to give birth. I'll admit that since being unemployed I'm not eating as much as I'm not in any routine - i.e. breakfast/lunch etc - but I sometimes feel like its just belly fat and not a baby.
I'm 15+2 and I have put on a stone, yet I can still fit into my jeans...
When I wake, it’s hardly there but close to bed time, it appears as though I am due to give birth. I'll admit that since being unemployed I'm not eating as much as I'm not in any routine - i.e. breakfast/lunch etc - but I sometimes feel like its just belly fat and not a baby.
I'm 15+2 and I have put on a stone, yet I can still fit into my jeans...
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