It is my MIL’s 76th birthday today.
Most people are shocked when I tell them I have a Mother in Law who is in her 70’s and on finding this information out the first question they ask is ‘how do you get on with her?’ as though because she is a pensioner, it automatically means we are miles apart in life style, morals and conversation.
Despite the 46 year age gap I get on great with my MIL and I always have done over the past 13 years. Infact I think Im quite lucky in that respect if reading others stories about their MIL’s is anything to go by.
I’ll admit at first she scared the pants off of me because I was only 17 and unknown to me my OH had told her I was 21 (he was 27 at the time), and the 6 months we lived with her back in 2008 I never felt ‘at home’ – not through any fault of her own but simply because out of respect for her I always kept in mind that this was her house and I always made sure things were put away and the washing up done straight after we ate – unlike now ;) and on occasion she has jarred me slightly by interfering in money situations but I understand that that was simply out of concern for our welfare at that time.
Infact I think it’s safe to say that if it wasn’t for her we would have been up sh*ts creak without a paddle quite a few times over the past decade. She gave us a home when our landlord moved back in and we had both lost our jobs. She has lent us money more times then I wish to remember but most of all she has always been ‘there’. I am thankful my OH has her for a Mother and I am thankful to her for him. I also praise her for putting up with my OH during his teens through to his early twenties because quite frankly he was a monster and should our children ever act like he did its save to say I will end up in a home for the insane.
As an older parent and then a single parent after my FIL – who Ive never met – ran off with her best friend she is one of the strongest women I know. I am very lucky to have and to have had such strong women within my life. They are proof that you can make it through whatever life throws at you.
I know I shouldn’t think this way and my OH has told me off when I stupidly shared my concerns with him some time ago; I feel and I have always felt it my duty to provide her with a Grandchild and with every year that passes the sickness within my stomach at the thought that I will not fulfil my duty arises.
As heartbreaking as it was for us when Bobby died, I felt I had let her down. She has been brilliant with Bobby and I respect the fact that after he died she called to ask if she could go visit him before his coffin was sealed. It brings a smile to my face every time I think of when she told me how she had unwrapped him on that visit, how she has taken the time to take in every single part of him and how she kissed him and talked to him. I am thankful that she sat with us in the chapel at his burial and cried along with us. I love the fact she see’s him as her first Grandchild and I know that she will continue to do so no matter how many more Grandchild we go on to give her.
I am lucky that she has never said the wrong thing that she has never dictated how I must feel but most of all I am grateful how she knows that I will never get over him, just as she will never forget him.
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