Sacked

Yep, today they finally sacked me. :(

I say finally because funny enough before telling them I was pregnant, they had no problem with my work.

Five weeks down the line they have had me in the office three times, going through every piece of my work and thinking about it, making sure I had signed my contract which funny enough I hadn’t receive beforehand, plus every other day I have been told off for one thing or another.

Today I was told off for my status on Messenger. We use Messenger to communicate at work as we are separated over a three floors. As you would expect sometimes people change their status, it’s natural. Yesterday, I changed mine to 'Is it Friday yet? If not, why not?’ Apparently, according to my Manager it shows that I don’t want to be there ... I said I thought it was funny and doesn’t everyone long for the weekend. She says it isnt and that no they dont.

My last day is next Thursday, however, tomorrow will be my last day because if they think I am going in for three days next week while I could be at home sorting my arse out trying to find another job then they really don’t have a clue.

Another thing to add is that the week after I told them I was pregnant, they started interviewing for my replacement, telling me that I would be moved from my role as PA to Admin. I even spent Monday and Tuesday training her FFS!

I really thought that things had finally turned around in our life.

Oh well, life goes on as they say. We have struggled before and we coped so we shall do it again I guess.

All this crying has given me a headache. It’s a shame I can’t have an alcoholic drink as I could really do with one or five right now.

First Time Mum Worries

As amazing as Fridays scan was, it has suddenly made it all real.

I’ve been allowing myself over the weekend to start to imagine it being born, it growing into a toddler and that’s as far as I get before I start to panic.

I’m laughing as I type but I’m actually sh*tting myself that:

a) I’ll be a crap Mum

b) I’ll not know what to the hell to do with it when it does arrive

c) I’ll not feed it enough, I'll keep it too warm and vice verse

d) That the stress of sleepless nights will cause us problems

e) That we can not afford it …

Actually scrap that last thought; no one can afford to have a child.

12 Week Scan

Baby Bob is alive and most certainly kicking! :)

Infact he/she kicked and stretched all the way through, so much so that the woman doing the scan commented on what an active baby it was and she kept poking it in order to make it move when it settled. Lol

He/she also appears to have very long legs like its Daddy which is a good thing because I’d rather it be that way then be a short arse like me.

I can’t believe how clear the baby looked either; like a proper little person. It’s hard to get my head around the fact that it’s really inside my belly and not just on a TV screen. The rush of feeling I had when seeing it was something I’ve never experienced before and I now know that I will do anything possible to make sure this baby is safe and well.

This whole growing a baby thing is so so strange yet so so lovely to be able to do all at the same time.

2nd Trimester!

Wow, I cant believe we have made it to the 2nd trimester!

Looking back over how much has happened over these past 12 weeks, I cant believe we will have our little baby by the end of this year! 


(picture 12 week belly)

More Blood and Stress at Work

I know I keep saying it but I really really, want to walk out of this office and never come back.

I’ve been crying to my OH this morning down the phone. Yet again I have come into the office to my Manager telling me off for things I have not done 'correctly'.

I didn’t add the correct details onto an appointment apparently. As it turns out they are on a machine of which I didn’t even know existed and so in defiance, when I emailed the details over to my Director, I told him that!

I’m sure there will be other things for them to have a go at me for though, as it seems to be the pattern every day for the past couple of weeks.

I wish I could walk out but I’m stuck. Who’s going to want to take on a three month pregnant woman now? There’s no way we can afford for me to be out of a job as it’s hard enough as it is with both of our wages.

To top things off, late yesterday evening I went to the toilet and there was bright red blood when I wiped. I kept an eye on it for the remainder of the night and thankfully it only seemed to appear when I wiped.

Today, it’s now brown and quite heavy and doesn’t just appear when I wipe. I’m praying it’s the blood clot in my uterus coming out and nothing else.

We have the twelve week scan this Friday thankfully.

The baby was fine a few weeks back after my last bleed so I’m clinging to that as a good sign. The nurse did say the clot would come out eventually but I wasn’t expecting it to do so now, not when I’ve had no bleeding for three weeks. I’ve even been allowing myself to start planning things for the baby in my head.

Roll on Friday. It can’t come quickly enough.

Discharge

Yes this post is going to be full of waaay too much information for a Monday afternoon, but I need to post it as I feel like a freak.

Since falling pregnant I have had a shocking increase in discharge. Its got so bad these last few weeks that I have been having to wear pant liners 24/7. Its putting me off DTD with OH and I'm seriously considering taking out a few shares in Always just for the hell of it.

I have had a test done to make sure it wasn’t an infection but unfortunately its not; it’s my hormones which means that I have to live with it for however long it lasts for.

Yet another thing no one tells you about when they talk of the 'joys of pregnancy'!