The Funeral of a Friend

It was Lee's funeral yesterday.

The coffin arrived at his Mum's house at 08:30 and as expected the sight of it caused a lot of grown men to cry. Even now its still hard to comprehend that his body was within that wooden box.

The service was held at the same chapel that Bobby's was held and unlike Bobby's, every seat within the chapel was taken.

Instead of hymns, old school house music was played; which may sound strange to some but Lee wasnt religious and house music was his and everyone elses within the chapels passion, and so it was fitting.

While the second song was played, we were asked by the minister to sit and remember Lee. For a split second I had an image of Lee standing in the corner of the chapel dancing away to himself laughing, knowing that noone could see him and yet thinking it funny that there were people there crying over the song while he danced to it. It was an image that made me smile until I remembered where I was.

Once the service was over we all headed off in different groups for some breakfast before meeting back at his Mum's house for the wake. At 12:45 the majority of the congregation headed towards a pub.

I'll be honest this part I wasn't looking forward to. I found it quite disrespectful to know some wanted to have a piss up after the funeral of a man who had ultimately died from alcohol but also because of the people who were going to be there.

The majority of those crying within the chapel were those who were not there for him when he became ill through the drink; they simply walked away. Whereas some who were there, were drinking with him up until the night before he died. Even after his numerous stays in rehab they would welcome him home by visiting him with a can of beer asking him if he minded if they drank in front of him ... what friend does that?

Then there were those who I'd chosen not to see ever again a few years back. Those who over a course of eight years made me feel like crap all because I was younger, because I came from a different background to them and ultimately because I did not drink or do drugs like them. Those who tried at every opportunity to make fun of me and cause trouble between the OH and I.

Knowing the history, thankfully my best friend agreed to spend the day with me, which meant that although I was polite to those people when saying hello, it meant I did not have to sit with them and make false conversation.

The one and only person who did try to make conversation said simply, "any babies yet", with which I replied "no". There was no "I'm sorry about your Son" even despite this being the first time I had seen any of them since Bobby had died.

I'm glad it is over, I'm glad that Lee was paid respect owed to him; although deep down I am sad that he had to die so young and in the way he did to receive the respect.